Little Earthquakes

An Ode to Friends

I was thinking today about how my life has changed in the last 5 years.  I feel as if I'm on the brink of major change - some of which I'm planning and some I know will come as a result of the planning.  I was thinking about how my life has turned for the good in some ways and how the people in my life have colored my landscape.  

Corrie: Yeah, she's my sister but she's still my best friend.  She has taught me to own my mistakes and that things will work out, even if it seems like they can't.  

Ramin & Jen: They have taught me to open up and let people in.  To ask for help when I really do need it. To know selflessness.  Oh and? They taught me the meaning of true love - they've showed me what good looks like.

Tanisha: To keep working, working, working through tough times.  To keep pushing even though your past or even your present would seem to block your success.  To keep a friendship alive even when life pulls you in different directions.

Omar (yes, Omar): To begin to understand true forgiveness.

My kids: Flexibility and positivity.  As I said in an earlier post, Alex's approach to moving is: "Sweet! What color can I paint my room?!" And Gus when I tell him he can't go to the park because the kids there are lousy: "Oh, are they mean to little brothers and big sisters? Then no way! I'm not going! We'll have fun in the  driveway!"

My mom: That even the things that I think are the worst case scenario can still be overcome.

Tony: To trust your friends. To allow myself to just do and say what I feel and not worry about being judged.  

Caleb: Caleb taught me to be vulnerable and honest.  I tell him stuff that I know he'll be disappointed about but he takes it, offers advice and we move on.

Cindy: She has taught me that even though we experienced almost every stage of our lives together (junior high, high school, college, 20's, etc.), good friends can and do still have enough in common to spend an afternoon laughing together (and spilling drinks).

Jen & Dawn: My first "girls."  I was always jealous (and a little confused) by my friends saying that they were getting together with "their girls." It seemed mystical.  And then I met Jen and Dawn and they have become "my girls."  I tell them everything and they don't judge me, they ask for my input to their problems and they make me laugh until my sides hurt, even on bad days.  They have taught me to be a part of a group and not worry that I'm not keeping up, or playing the right part.  They've taught me to lean on them when I have a rotten day and they always offer their open arms.

Joe: Joe taught me to appreciate nature.  Yeah, no kidding, I'm saying that.  He taught me to love being outside in the rain, snow, sunshine, wind and sleet.  So, this has been a priceless learning because sometimes I just go for walks or runs to just get away from everything and think.  

The Abdelwahed Family: This family has taught me the meaning of family.  No offense to my own, but this family has adopted me.  Even though I am legally divorced from all of them and I've shed their name, even though we've all had our tough times with each other, they've looked the other way, raised their chins and walked right through fire for me.  In return, I've learned to do the same and to understand that they've become my family not because they have to but because they've wanted to.

Victor: I have learned how to quite literally cheer for and be proud of someone I've helped and watch grow professionally and personally.  He has taught me that a random lunch and coaching session can be so rewarding, so exciting that I love to volunteer to coach others whenever it's asked of me.  GO VP!

I realize this might come across as sappy, but I think it needed to be said. And I swear I'm not drinking. I also know I'm going to wake up for the next 3-4 nights freaked out, adding comments and additions.  Thanks guys - you all are shaping me into a better person, every single day.

Why

Why is it than when I have a surprise night off from the kids that I realize I already watched the Rome DVD I got from Netflix? And the new one won't be here till tomorrow?

Why are there always shoes all over the road?  I can understand a work boot here and there (flew out of the back of a pickup?) or a running shoe (fell out of a motorcyclist's backpack)?  But a women's white dress shoe?  And why so many shoes?

Does anyone win the McDonald's prizes like Monopoly?  

Why do children wake up at 5:00 am on Saturdays but you have to drag them whining and kicking out of their beds at 7:30 on every single weekday?

Does the underside of the shrimp need to be deveined?  Because it looks just like the other vein that you devein.  Have never wanted to risk not doing so.

Why do I always, always, always go for the bad guy?

Every once in a while I say, "I'm all in."

And I mean it.  If I say that to you, stand back.  I'm all in.  I don't say it often because, as my 4th grade teacher Mr. Whats-His-Face said, "Christy is a good student, but she is most commonly laissez faire about everything around her."  No shit, Jack.  Still am.  Hope he went into psychotherapy.

Anyway, I went "all out" pretty emphatically on one big thing in my life which NO, I don't want to talk about. This resulted in me going on a few dates last week which we've talked about.  The uncategorized Bachelor kind of blew it today by being slightly sexual via IM too early and saying, "Thanks hon. It's always fun," after a big conversation.  Fail.  

So I've been admittedly pretty laissez faire about dating.  Fine.  I can deal with that.  I have been "all in" about working out recently.  Kind of nuts about it actually.  The first day was yoga for beginners, pretty easy but really intensive in terms of mind/body.  I found I was thinking about the experience I had had well into the day and evening and I liked the way my body felt.  The following day I decided to step it up and did a more intense power yoga session.  Again, I liked the feelings I was having for the rest of the day.  I've been doing this for almost two weeks now.  I would have to say I'm "All In."  Capital letters even.  Unfortunately for my wardrobe, this is causing more weight loss.  I've been dropping clothing sizes almost by the month and I admit, I've worried.  I think it's healthy - my hair and eyes are still shining.  In comes the Laissez Faire Christy.  Whatev, it'll work itself out.

Now I'm sitting here nursing my sore body and wishing All In didn't mean Spastic Over-Attention.  

Stay tuned for "Christy Met a New Guy and Is Now Abandoning All Workout Plans and Healthy Living."

Spring in Minnesota

Here in Minnesota last week it became Spring.  Yeah, I know, we'll get our ass handed to us in a week or two and get dumped on by Mother Nature.  But for a week, it was true Spring - bright blue skies and sunshine and dripping drips of drip everywhere.  

I opened my sunroof, put on my sunglasses and found myself having lunches and happy hours with friends. It was glorious.  

And I had a few dates.  

I decided after my little retarded foray with Match.com back in 2006 and again this September that I'd just put all that on hold.  I thought that if it happened it happened, but I wasn't going to put out any effort.  I mean, I was finding last Fall that I was feeling guilty about burning out my mother in law when she watched the kids for me, spending money on babysitters to avoid the guilt, worrying about the kids and then sitting down with my date to realize in 5 minutes that it was all a wasted effort.

It started with a guy that found me randomly on Facebook about a month ago.  Yeah, I know I should have known better.  I was listening to all of my friends who tell me I go for the Bad Boys and that I should try a Nice Guy for once.  Well, this guy seemed like a Nice Guy.  

Nice Guy Bachelor #1 was average looking, a Chiropractor and had 2 kids about the same age as Al and Gus. We met for a spontaneous lunch a few weeks ago.  By the time we had ordered our food and were waiting for it, he was holding both of my hands.  My feet were kicking wildly under the table I was so uncomfortable.  "Do you like holding hands?" he asked.  "No. Not at all," I said, looking him right in the eye.  He kept holding my hands until I pretended to sneeze.  By the end of the lunch he was telling me how he and I and our kids should all go down to Florida in a few months.  Seriously.  Lucky me, he parked right near me so he made sure he held my hand all the way through the parking lot and then tried to kiss me, which I ducked.  He kissed my eyebrow as I dove into my car.

I haven't looked back, other than to laugh.

The two dates I had this week were actually good.  My dinner date was a Nice Guy.  Bachelor #2 Nice Guy is average looking but we had just about everything in common.  Um, like everything.  It almost made me wonder how much research he had done.  Anyway, it was nice to sit across from someone and actually be entertained and....interested....in the conversation.  It's been a good long while since that has happened.

Bachelor #3 is a... I don't know how to categorize this one.  And of course, he's the one I really like and am wildly attracted to. Which means he's probably a Bad Guy.  I had breakfast with him and we talked for 2 solid hours, mostly about his life and his stories.  

So I don't know if this is some new mojo that I've acquired or I'm open to it again or it's just Spring in Minnesota.  It definitely makes life a little more interesting and I've frankly been understimulated - bored to tears for a long time now.