I think we need to do a timeline again. I love the people who help me with the kids or dogs or whatever else I need, but once in awhile I have the feeling that they think I wear a cape with a lasso and bullet reflecting wrist bands. I also think the people who like to randomly text me and then immediately expect a response, resulting in them texting, texting, texting asking why I'm not responding need a refresher.
Gus has been sick and so have I. So, in fairness, I'll select the night before we got sick to highlight since it's pretty much an average night for us:
Tuesday, January 26th:
12:24 am: Gus wakes up, yelling my name, which is now 'Mom.' I stumble in, walk over a sea of Legos in my bare feet and immediately feel his forehead out of instinct. He's fine. "I want water." I deliver the water and Gus says, "I wanted the Spongebob cup, not this one." I tell him to drink the damn water and then snuggle him back into bed.
1:10 am: Staring at ceiling. I'm hot because my house has odd 'zones' everywhere and my room is usually 110 degrees even in the dead of winter like right now. I attempt to close the vent in my room which results in a highly irritating whistling noise. I then reopen the vent.
1:42 am: Check email, Facebook, texts.
3:35 am: Alex comes into my room, closes the door and then knocks on it to alert me that she's there. "I had a dream about a guy staring in the car window and he looked at me like this (makes really startling face)." "Holy crap Al. Ok, I'll walk you back to bed." I take her back to her bed, turn her TV down 14 decibles and turn off 2 lights. Gee, wonder why she has trouble sleeping.
3:55 am: Check email, Facebook, texts.
4:10 am: Thinking about Alex's scary dream. Then begin rehashing every single scary movie I've ever seen. Fall asleep trying to decide if that closet door really moved or not.
5:30 am: Time to go outside to let the dogs out. I have to take them out separately, otherwise they think it's play time in the snow. It's flipping cold out here, I think.
5:40 am: Rush back into bed, listening to deafening gnawing on bones by the dogs. Thinking I'm lucky that they haven't decided to roughhouse.
6:05 am: Alex wakes me up crawling into my bed (wow, I must've fallen asleep!).
6:08 am: Gus scales the foot board to crawl into his place next to me. He's astoundingly like a monkey, I notice.
6:09 am: Both dogs leap onto the bed to wish us all hot doggy breath, licky good mornings.
6:11 am: Gus and Al begin fighting *on* me.
6:11 am: I get out of bed, exasperated and head to the shower, locking the bathroom door (see? I've gotten smarter).
6:20 am: Kid wrangling begins. I get Gus dressed while directing Alex to "keep moving, brush your teeth, your hair isn't brushed, no, you can't wear that, stop playing with the Barbie, you don't have socks on, make your bed, get out of my bed, don't drag Lali around like that, let's go."
7:00 am: Make breakfast for both kids, let dogs out individually again, frantically sign all of the crap in Al's backpack that we forgot to handle the night before.
7:45 am: Kids watching Spongebob, I'm making Alex's lunch, doing laundry and cleaning up the lower level.
8:10: The neighbor girl and Al's newest "best friend ever in the world" shows up and immediately says she forgot her snack. This is a daily thing and I'm prepared with a snack for her and one for Al. I bundle them both up, loan a pair of gloves to Al's friend and watch them race down the street to the bus stop.
8:15 am: Begin the battle of dragging Gus from Spongebob to get him to Kindercare. Fight with him about shoes, hats, mittens, snacks, fruit, thirstiness, Spongebob, blankets and bedtime.
I think we all have the gist of it. I haven't slept longer than 45 minutes or so at a stretch since 2007. If you want to text me and get an immediate response, your best bet is sometime between 1:00 am and 3:00 am. If you'd like a fried egg sandwich or a snack for school, show up around 8:10 am. Good luck.
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